Wednesday, December 23, 2009

people toys

I get a bucket of toys. All mine. The folks keep putting them back in the bucket even after I've killed them, ripped out the guts and buried them under the desk.

It's like if the bucket is full, I must have a lot of toys. No, I have a bucket of dead stuff. Now the folks, they have toys!

The best one is the one I got to see today. It's really small, doesn't squeak, and Dad person keeps it on his belt for some reason. He talks at it a lot and if I try to bring him stuff to throw while he's talking at it, he shoos me away. I hate that people toy.

But today was really cool. He let me get near it and I heard my name. I stared at it and it kept talking to me and it sounded like my Mom person telling me I was a good boy. Dad laughed and said how quiet I got. Well, yeah. If you're able to get Mom in that little box, what can you do to me?

I don't know where she is. I guess sometimes she's in that little box, but I don't know why she's not here. Dad takes me to the dog park a lot, but he doesn't know about cheese.

If he puts Mom near my face again I'm gonna see if she has cheese in there.

I miss my Mom.

Friday, November 27, 2009

the pillows and I

I can't help it. I know I will get called a bad dog. I know I will have to "come here" and then sit there with my ears all down while I listen to a lot of blahblahpillowblahbadblahnoblahbaddog. But they are like big toys. All soft and stuff. And when you bite them, white fluff stuff goes all over and the cats are all "Whoa you are in deep doodoo now, litter breath"

Nobody knows how the cats make fun of me when nobody is home. It is brutal.

So, anyway, sometimes they hide the pillows under the blankets but that just makes it more of a game. I get to pull the blanket down and look for the secret pillow. That keeps me busy for a long time. The folks say "where's Q? He's been quiet a long time" Uh oh.

They keep buying me new toys, but they are like small pillows and they just make me want bigger ones. One of us has to change.

Oh, and the little red treats you have to bite out of the bubbles? Those taste awful and they are called soodyfed or something and it gives you the zoomies. Just thought I'd tell ya.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

where was I?

Oh yeah. Vacation. That's what the folks said it was. I guess a vacation is when you go farther than the dog park for a really long time and every day you have to learn new smells and find good nap spots. Vacations are hard work.

But I got to do some really cool stuff. I got to play in snow on a mountain! No kidding. A mountain is like the dog park only up.

They wouldn't take the leash off, though. Boy, that would have been fun.

And there was no great lake where we went but there was an ocean! No kidding. At first I was only able to look at it

but pretty soon we went to walk in it. At first it was sort of scary because the water goes in and out like the great lake does, but this stuff goes waaaay in and waaaay out. It was hard to figure out.

I loved it. Some day they are gonna take that darn leash off and let me run around like at the dog park. That ocean would have been a great place to run! I don't get why they worry so much.

So, anyway, that was vacation. I think I like vacation. But I like home, too. Time to sleep in front of the fire again. Maybe I'll dream about swimming in oceans. No leash.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


Boy, am I glad to be back. You can't believe what happened. I'm just doing my usual morning thing...chewing Dad's pillow, chasing Scooter under the bed, looking for Mom's shoes, trying to look sad so they'll take me to the dog park. Well, pretty soon I hear the "car" word and I am excited and we get out to the car but I can tell right away that something is up because the folks built like a whole room for me behind them. Really! Like my bed and a water bowl and toys and a chew stick and I'm thinking something is fishy here and I'm hoping it doesn't mean the cold table/pointy stick in the butt stuff.

But Dad drove right by the pointy stick place but then wait! he drove right by the dog park place, too so I tried the whimpering thing but they just told me to hush. We drove longer than it takes to go to Grammas, longer than it takes to go to the great lake for swimming, longer than any park I know. I started to worry they were taking me back to the shelter, but we drove and drove and I fell asleep.

I woke up in a place called Oh! Hi, O! We still didn't stop except for all of us to pee and get stuff like water and chips. They stuffed me back in my car room and off we went. This went on for days!!!

You can't believe the stuff I saw. Huge things called cows that didn't even look when I barked at them. And horses! Same thing. What's with these people? Then there was this huuuge green thing that I really went crazy trying to scare off but the folks just laughed. They said he was the Sinclair dinosaur, a gas station dummy. Yeah, he was a dummy all right. If I coulda got out of the car he would have been sorry. Hmph.

We stopped at places called hotels that are really just a whole lot of big bed rooms where you can't bark and all sorts of things happen at the door that make you want to bark but you get yelled at. I don't like hotels.

Finally we got to our new house in Oh, I'm gone! or something like that. But it really wasn't our new house because we left there to come back here after a while. That was lots nicer than the hotel. I'll tell you the rest later. I need a nap and the fireplace is on. I love sleeping by the fire. Except when my fur starts to smell funny and Mom pulls me away by my legs.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009


Do you know baloney? Get to know it, I mean it. Baloney doesn't happen much in our house because Dad is a veterinarian or something. But yesterday, Mom bought some and made lunch. She left it on the big kitchen working table, I guess because she was real hungry and didn't want to wait to eat lunch. I guess she was gonna put it in the big box I haven't figured out how to open when she was done.

I waited.

Pretty soon she brought her lunch in the big room and sat in a chair and watched TV and she left the baloney all alone. She didn't know I could reach the top of the working table. I've been practicing. But there was never anything there until yesterday. It wasn't easy. The baloney was in an envelope and you have to get it out. But I did it. And it was really really good. I was really excited and that's how I got caught. That envelope thing the baloney came in was really tasty. I took it and ran into the big room and jumped on the couch so I could take my time chewing it. That's when Mom yelled "QUINCY! The baloney!" (that's how I knew what it was called)

Mom sent me upstairs to sleep on the big bed which is something I like to do so I'm not sure if she was really mad or not. Except she sounded mad. I mean. at night she says "C'mon Q, let's go sleep on the big bed" in her good dog voice. This time she used her bad dog voice and said "QUINCY! Upstairs! Now! Get on the bed! Bad!"

Either way, I got a whole lot of baloney and a nap on the big bed. Life is good.

Friday, July 31, 2009

car zoomies

OK, this is cool. But it only works in the Mom car.

You put one paw on the dashboard ( I know that's what it's called because the mom says "Q! You're scratching the dashboard!), Then you put your other paw OUTSIDE the car and hang onto the mirror. You keep your back legs real straight on the seat and leeeeaaan your head waaay out the window.

When the car goes fast, you're doing the best zoomies ever.

Try it, really! It is great. Well, except if the car is going really fast and your ears start flappin' wompawompa. That gets weird.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

new bark park!

The bark park is my favorite place, so when the folks said we were going to the new bark park I thought "OK, but you can't make me like it"

But I did.

When we got there, lots of new people were there and they didn't have dogs. They were sort of standing around and waiting. Turns out they were waiting for the guy in the suit. He's a mayor. I'm not sure what that is, but it got me a new bark park, so I'm thinking it's a good thing.

I tried to get in on it, but they fenced me out.

The new park is so big I can run forever

You can see the swimming lake, but there's a fence again.

Those are some of my friends.

Thanks for the park mayor man. My friends say thanks, too.

I think I'm gonna like it here

Monday, June 22, 2009


OK, I didn't know what it was, but the folks were all excited to keep telling me we were going swimming! Swimming, swimming, swimming. OK, so let's go to swimming already. sheesh. This better be good.

We went to a place by the water. The bark park is by the water but this place had no fence. The water could come right at you. And it did. It would come at me, then back up and come at me and back up. Too weird for me.

I was real happy to just keep smelling that sleeping fish, but no, we had to chase the water. Mom went with me, that's the only reason I went. Had to protect her from the in and out water,

Hmm..OK...this is sorta cool, now what?

Ah, the old stick throw. They know I can't help myself

Hey. that's not so bad

And then Dad threw the stick really far and the water came up to my nose and so I picked up my legs and started running and Mom got all excited about how I was swimming! Yay Quincy! Yay Quincy! You're swimming!

I mean, really, have they never heard of "doggie paddle"?

I like this swimming thing

Mom said I was swimming in a great lake. Heck yeah, it was a really really great lake.

It would have been a perfect day if they had let me bring the sleeping fish home. He smelled really tasty. But I had to drop it.

We'll be back, though.

'cause I'm a swimmin' dog now!

Monday, June 15, 2009

I went to canada!

OK, I'm not exactly sure what a canada is, but we went there. Dad had to tell a man where he was born. Nobody asked me. I guess canada doesn't care about dogs.

It's funny, we go on really long car rides and nobody asks Dad where he was born. This canada place is just down the street near the bark park but they ask you questions. I have to figure it out.

I got to play with canada puppies. They didn't care where I was born, either.

Dear canada..My name is Quincy. I was born in a shelter. Thanks for letting me visit.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

life is good!!!!

My parts are still gone, I guess that's how it's gonna be. But guess what? The lampshade is off! Yay! That means we can go to the bark park again. And we did!

It was probably baby to cry when we got there, but I couldn't help it. It just came out. Mom couildn't get the car door open fast enough for me. I think I kinda made her mad a little because I was going from one door to another and in the back and on the floor but it was my legs. They were doing it. Really.

I got to wrestle and play tug a stick with another puppy my size. That was great. Then this little dog that looked like a chew toy came in and started yapping at everybody but we pretty much ignored her. Kids today. Sheesh.

We took a ride to see Gramma, too, but I think to her I'm sorta like that chew toy dog. She'd like it better if I wasn't there. Keeps poking at me with her cane. Maybe I'll stay away until I get less zoomie. She wants me to sit by her feet and let her pet me, but the zoomies get me.

Then we came home and I was all tired an stuff. It's been along time since I got to play that much.

And a long time since I could sleep on Dad and feel his heartbeat in my ear.

Life is good.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

lampshade 101

I've been wearing this thingy on my head forever. I'm not sure what I did, but all things considered, this past week makes "time out" look like a reason for a happy dance.

The folks are really nice to me, and throw treats into my lampshade, so I guess I wasn't bad.  I hope I don't have to lose any more of my parts, though. I'm kind of used to them. Like I would hate to lose my tail because it is very cool. It makes a "Q". Really. Well, the folks say it makes a circle, but I should know.

I haven't been to the dog park forever. And riding in the car isn't as much fun because the stoopid lampshade gets caught on the car parts. And everytime I run up to one the folks they start yellin' OW OW!

I think the lampshade gets 'em. Well, it gets me, too. You don't hear me yelling.

Anyway, I found out some good things about the lampshade. It fits right over the cat. That's pretty cool.  And you can hear really good and your bark sounds really really loud.

Oh, yeah, flowers smell better.

I heard the folks talking about when they can take the thingy off my head. I vote for now. I haven't felt a pillow under my chin for sooo long.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

this is not funny

They brought me back the the parts stealers. I needed glue. They are gluing me together! Is it my fault the glue didn't work? I don't think so. But I still have to wear this thing on my head. They said I was licking. I was not licking. I was trying to figure out where the hid the stuff that used to be there. There is NOTHING TO LICK!! Sorry I barked. It's been a long day for a puppy.

This thing sticks out pretty far so I keep thumping into things. Like the door.  I can't stand as close to it as I did before because if I do it goes thump and the folks laugh. They laugh when the coffee table grabs the edge, when I hold my head back and try to go up the stairs, when I try to drink water, even when I'm just laying down. Mom keeps saying I have sad eyes.

Sad eyes? Put your head in this dixie cup and try to look happy. Gee.

So, I am not going to the dog park in this thing. There is a lab pit mix  there that will never let me forget it. 

And forget that pretty Golden. She'd run the other way. Which doesn't matter much, because I have a feeling those parts they stole may have had something to do with me and her anyway.

I do get a lot of pets. And Mom gave me cheese. Cheese! Do you know cheese? Boy, get to know it, that's some good stuff. I'll probably never see it again once this bucket is off my head. I'm going to try the sad eye thing again, see if I get more.

How long is 10-14 days? Will I still be a puppy? Will there be cheese?

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

what happened?

I could tell we weren't going to the barkpark. I was picking up some weird stuff from my humans, so I tried the pitiful whimpering thing. They kept driving but they were talking about why I was crying and they did stop for a minute and I dragged my Mom around some grass. But they put me back in the car and we kept going.

Turns out we were going to a steel table/sharp pointy stick place, but this time they left me. They left! You won't believe what happened next. I'm kinda shy about it but I discovered some neat parts of myself the other day and now they are gone. And I was just getting used to them.

When the folks finally came back to get me, I dragged them outta there real fast before those people could take any more of my parts.

I don't know why they took my parts or what they are gonna do with them. I have to figure it out. But I know next time the folks take me to a steel table pointy stick place they are gonna stay with me or I'm escaping. When they see that part of me is missing, they are going to be really mad at those people. 

Mom let me taste her popsicle That was good. She keeps kissing my head and saying "poor baby". She doesn't know the half of it.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009


Next week I am going to get fixed.

I didn't know I was broken.

I need to figure this out.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

the extra human

We had an extra human in the house for a while called a "billy". Mom liked him a lot and spent a lot of time with him, but that's OK. Dad still took me to the barkyard, And the billy did stuff like run up the stairs so I could chase him. Run! Up the stairs! Boy, that's something the folks never do. I kinda like having a billy.

He wrestled, too. That was cool. Once he picked me up and we spun around and around. And he let me sleep on him. Then just as I got to really like having him here, he left. I'm not sure why, but Mom has been walking around and sniffing a lot, so I think I'll go up to the bed and look out the window for a while until she gets happy again.

Maybe I'll see a billy.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

evil bike path people

This is not funny. First the people up high on 2 wheels with their feet going around. I learned to deal with that. Then the lady pushing wheels. Scary.

But today, today was too much. There was an up high feet going around guy and then right behind him a guy with wheels on his feet. On his feet! And he had the zoomies and almost ran over me but he scooted around just in time. And then, just as I stopped watching him, here comes another guy up on a really loud board and that board had wheels! He's just coming and coming at me and that board was loud! And fast!

Well, I had to bark! I let all those other things go and look what happened. They just keep putting wheels on everything. They have to be stopped. Or else I have to make the folks move away from this bike path thing. It is not good for dogs. Not good.

We have no place for wheels.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

how to sleep

OK, I think I have it figured out. They let you sleep on the bed if you scrunch up down near their feet and stay quiet.

If you get between them and stretch out real long and you're on your back it makes you snore and they drag you back down to their feet.

If you sneak back up and put your head on someone's neck, they pet you but pretty soon they put you back down again.

The cat can sleep on Mom's pillow right near her head. Does the cat get pushed down? Noooo.

It's not my fault I snore. Dad snores. Does Mom make him sleep at her feet? Nooooo.

Cats and Dads got it made in this place.

Friday, April 17, 2009

the lady on wheels

I've been a city dog for a long time now and I've seen a lot. Really weird stuff.

I stopped being afraid of those people who ride up high on wheels, going real fast by the house, their feet going round and round. Mom says we live on something called a "bike path" and if I sit down every time one of those wheeley people goes by, we'll never get our walk done. I'm used to them now. Sometimes they ride in packs though and I can't help sitting down for that.

But today there was a lady walking with wheels. I'm not lyin'! She was pushing wheels and walking real slow and she was watching me. I know she was. Why? What was she up to? Then she got to our corner and stopped and watched me. She was evil, I know she was. You can't fool me. So, I sat down and then I got up and walked backwards. You can't take your eyes off evil ladies. They could try to hurt your people.

I watched her and she watched me and pretty soon she turned around and started walking away really slow. That's right, evil lady. Take those wheels and scoot. And don't come back. This is my block.

I rule.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

white stuff again

I got a surprise today. When I went outside this morning there was that cold white stuff all over the ground again. That was pretty cool except that when I first went out the door I was moving really fast and that white stuff made me slide to the bottom of the steps and land on my butt for just a second. That stops the zoomies real quick, let me tell you.

You also can't stop running fast when that stuff is here. I was chasing a leaf and I had a real good start but when I had to stop to get it all my legs went everywhere.

All this stuff gets the humans laughing.

Anyway, I did enough good stuff out there to get a cookie when we came in. I'm not sure if it was the sliding or the pooping, but whatever it was, the folks liked it. Then I took a nap.

Every day is hard work.

Sunday, April 5, 2009


My human Dad is a veteranarian, but not the kind that pokes you with the sharp stick in the butt, the kind that doesn't eat meat. At least think I that's what I heard. Anyway, that means I don't get hot dogs much or other good treats unless Mom sneaks 'em in.

So, I get weird treats. They keep trying to give me carrots, even though I bark at them and refuse to pick them up. Doesn't stop them from trying. "Hey, Q, wanna carrot?". Plop. It rolls at me. I bark at it. Does this stop them? No. I just know later today I'm gonna hear "Hey, Q, wanna carrot?". The answer is still no, people.

Well, today it was banana. Mom said "Hey, Q, wanna banana?" and I let her give it to me because at least it wasn't a carrot.

The thing about bananas is that they are really good, but there must be some trick to eating them. Every time I tried to chew it, it smooshed and popped out of the sides of my mouth. When I tried to show Mom what was happening she just barked and barked and barked and made Dad come see. Nice. I just love looking stoopid.

I wasn't gonna just sit there with banana hanging on my face so the folks could get a good laugh. Turns out if you spit it out, you can pick it back up in little bits and then you can eat it. And it's good. Nothing like a carrot.

Maybe this veteranarian food isn't so bad after all.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

all kinds of no

I can play with the cats but if I try to pick one up by the neck, that's a no. OK, but how do I carry him then? I have to figure that out.

Sometimes when I poop the folks get all excited and give me pets and sometimes they get all mad and ask me what did I do. Now you don't know what it is? A little while ago you were all excited about it. I have to figure that out.

In the time out room they have big boxes that get food in them. Sometimes they take something out and give it to me but if I try to help out and get it myself, that's a no. They keep saying I need a job, but when I try to do one, it's a no. I have to figure that out.

There's another box in the time out room that gets food for a little while but then they take it out.. That's a "nonohot!" I don't have to figure that one out. It hurt my nose. Sometimes you only have to tell me no once.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

a box of dogs

The humans have a box that usually has people in it but today there were dogs in it. I knew because I heard them barking and so I did what I always do..I barked back which made the folks barklaugh a lot. The dogs in the box didn't hear me though, so I thought maybe I was wrong, maybe the dogs were outside so I went to the window to bark just in case. No answer, so I went to the back door but then I heard them bark in the box again so I ran back to the box again and I barked even louder but still no answer. This went on for a while.

The dog in the box never did answer me, But I've been watching the box real close just in case he comes back

The folks said that when we couldn't get to the dog park, we could just watch Animal Planet for exercise.

I don't get it.

stoopid spring

There was this thing outside that my Mom person was all worked up about. She called it "spring". She said we could open windows, that we didn't need coats. Hello? I never need a coat, OK? Then she said we had to get outside and I got all zoomie for a minute until she went and got that walking thing and put it on me. So this was not outside at the dog park, this was outside with the walking thing. Oh well.

First thing was that wacky dog next door that barks as soon as I put one paw near his fence. Big dog, big fence, big bark. Yeah, sure, come out here and bark that at me, stoopid dog. His Mom person came out and told him to stop being silly and then she came out from behind the fence and was singing "ooh puppy puppy hi quincy puppy". and she was petting me and scratching under my chin. Ha! Who's the best dog now? Not the stoopid dog barking behind a fence.

Then some people who live on the other side of the street brought over 2 big dogs to meet me. Doesn't anybody around here have dogs my size? These 2 giants came over and sniffed me and danced around me and all I could see from my height was stuff under the dogs which wasn't all that wonderful but it did make my sniffing easier to do. I could just stand there.

So. let me tell you about this spring thing. When I first moved to the city I thought it was like a punishment because the ground was all slippery and I couldn't run without all my legs going in the wrong direction which made the humans barklaugh but was not funny to me. Sometimes there was soft cold stuff, too, but I kind of liked that. You could stick your noise in it and run fast and make a tunnel. Then that went away and under that was gooey stuff that Mom always told me "nonomud!!"

I am never going to learn their language.

Anyway, today there was stuff in the ground. It looked like it could be food, but I wasn't allowed to eat it. So I thought maybe I could dig there, but no. It looked soft so I tried once to lay in a bunch of it and Mom dragged me out and said I was breaking the flowers. Flowers. Huh. Who knew? Whatever those are, you have to leave them where they are and you can't eat them. Just one more thing I can't have.

I did meet a hose today. That is a long thing that comes out from behind the house and has water coming out of it. A man was using it on his car for some reason. I'm thinking this is something I could either learn to love or hate.

So, I guess Spring is flowers, hoses and no coats. And some nonomud. Whatever that is. Maybe it's not so stoopid after all.

Monday, March 23, 2009

dog park! dog park!

Dog Park!!

Oh. sorry. I just got so excited. It was great. When we first got there it was all black dogs like me only way bigger. They came running at me so I flopped on my back and got quiet and hoped that would work like it's supposed to and it did!  Good thing. too, 'cause I would have been lunch. They sniffed me and let me run with them. We ran and ran and ran. No miracle walker!

The humans stood in a pack and barked at each other while we ran.  I don't know how you can be in a pack like that and stand still. Humans are weird. They don't sniff each other, either, so I'm not sure how they get to know each other. Maybe if they didn't wear pants over their butts all the time, they would get along better. Dogs understand these things.

One of the people in the human pack told my Mom that Catahoulas need a job. Here they go with that job thing again! I'm 3 months old, people. How old were you when you got a job, pack human? I think the dog park will be my job for a while. I'm pretty good at it.

I got a new treat when we got home. A hot dog. Really. It isn't a barking kind of dog and it was really good foods. I think we are going to be learning a new trick for me to do  so I can get more food dogs. Maybe it will be a job. That would be OK. I'll do a job if it gets me those food dogs. I think the job is called "stay", which means I get foods for doing nothing.

If you ask me, I think the humans need a job. 

Saturday, March 21, 2009

how to get more foods

The zoomie trick isn't working so much at home. When we are at other places, I get foods for being zoomie. At home I get a timeout. Timeout means I have to go to the room where the folks keep the foods, but I don't get to have any. I have to figure this out.

But you can get foods by doing stuff you do all the time anyway. Like sitting down. And laying down. Today I got foods for putting my paw up in the air when Mom said "paw". The secret is to do it when they tell you. I mean, it's not like sitting down is any big deal or anything. But if you do it when they tell you to, they get all excited and give you foods.

The vet told the folks that I need to have a job. I have a job. I'm teaching them to hide their shoes. They leave them out, I take them. They hide them. Every day. same thing. Now they are starting to hide them before I take them. Another week and my job will be done. I wonder what the vet will say then.

If he says I need another job, I hope it means foods.

Friday, March 20, 2009

a street is not a park

I don't know a lot, but I'm learning. I know that while I was on the cold table with the pointy stick in my butt, the vet said I could go to the park now. I heard him. Park is a word I know.

So, when the folks took me to get a special thing for walking, I thought Yes! Park! (Of course, I also thought they said we were going to a dog bone-teek which got me excited for no reason, too.)The walking thing goes under me and around me. I do not like it. Mom likes it. She says it's a miracle. I hope we don't go to the dog bone-teek for any more miracles

She put the miracle walking thing on me and took me out but not to the park. We went on streets. Streets are not the park. The park doesn't make you put on walking miracles. I tried to chew the miracle off, but I just got my bottom mouth stuck in it and sort of walked on my head. Mom was barking that way she does when I do funny stuff but this wasn't funny. She stopped and unhooked me and said bad boy but she was still barking funny. When I bark, they tell me to shush. Just sayin'

We stopped and watched the lucky dogs in the park a few days ago. They were running. And nobody was stopping them. Now THAT is a miracle.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

"vet" does not mean an old soldier

We went to the vet. Again. This is getting old. Same thing different day. Look in my ears, look at my teeth, look at things I haven't learned the name of yet. Bring out the pointy stick while I pretend I don't see it. Poke my butt, tell me I'm a good boy.

And they wonder why I get zoomy in the waiting room. Gee, I don't know. You go sit naked on a steel table and wait for the pointy stick.

The good thing about getting zoomy at the vet is that you get a lot of foods. Humans think that foods makes us behave. No. Foods makes us zoomy because when we get zoomy, we get foods. Personally, I can't see a good reason for being a "good boy" if there is no foods involved. The folks came prepared with foods today, just in case I got zoomy which of course I did right away on account of the foods. By the time we got in the little room with the cold table, they were stealing foods from the treat jar just to keep me quiet.

I think the training is going pretty well.