Tuesday, February 1, 2011

rescue me!

They did it. They rescued a puppy. (Rescued from what? they never say. I need to figure that out) They brought him home. They are keeping him. I don't know what they are thinking.

First of all, this is barely a dog. Scooter is bigger and Scooter is a cat. This "dog" has hair sticking up all over like they put him in a blender. He has to wear a coat...a coat!..because he gets so cold. Oh please. Mom has to comb him every morning so he doesn't tangle, whatever that means.

Let me tell you something. I don't need a coat. I can handle the cold. I roll around in the snow and I like it! This little cat dog walks down the sidewalk once and starts limping on his poor little one inch feet. And I don't tangle, nobody has to brush me every morning. Just let 'em try.

Now I have to say that this dog..they named him "Oliver", by the way..stoopid name, tries to play with me. But he moves around so fast you can't ever catch him. And when I do catch him, Mom says "Easy, Quincy" That's no fun. She never tells the cat dog "Easy, Oliver" when he is trying to climb on my back or waving those stoopid one inch paws in the air near my face.

I'm training him, though. Mom bought us each some toys to tear apart and I keep taking his away, even if I already have one. I don't need more than one to tear apart, but I want him to know it has to be OK with me if he gets to have one. He doesn't get it yet. He just keeps coming over and taking it back, But I'll teach him.

There is only one top dog in this house and it is not going to be one that is smaller than the cats and looks like he lives in a blender.

This is me and the so-called "dog". Do not even think the word "cute"

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

my little secret

So, the Mom was reading an article about a dog who knows 1022 nouns. Big whoop. Aren't you curious about how I know that? I heard her talking about it. Guess I know a bunch of nouns, too.

Here's the thing. You think we don't know a lot of words because we don't always run and jump and wag when you're talking. Wrong. We understand you, we just can't talk! This comes in handy, though.

Like when the Mom asks Dad if he took the pillows off the bed. I open one eye to see if he's going up to check...

then I slide off the couch and hide. I know I'm not supposed to eat the pillows but I kinda forget until after it's all over the bed like snow. The folks think I just know the word "pillow" on account of how often I hear it. "Quincy! You ate the PILLOW!" "Bad boy, Quincy, what did you do to the PILLOW?" Truth is, I know "ate" and "Bad boy" and "what did you do", too.

This is how we hear: "RUSSELL, did you TAKE QUINCY OUTSIDE yet? He looks like he needs to GO. Maybe you could TAKE him to the PARK for a little RUN. We can EAT when you get back. WHere is his LEASH?" I know all those words, but some of them are like little bells in my ears. especially "park".

So when I started hearing the word "puppy" a lot, I kept my eyes closed and just perked up my ears. Puppy can mean we are going to the park or it can mean there is a dog on TV and I have to do my run around in circles and bark at the screen to amuse the folks. They never get tired of it. But what they were saying was "Quincy! Do you want your own puppy?"

Now I understood what they said but I couldn't believe it. So I started listening harder. I heard them talking about rescue and giving me a buddy and how the Mom would love a little dog that wouldn't pull her down the sidewalk. I felt kinda bad about that. I thought she liked it when I helped her go faster.

So now I'm thinking about what this could mean. A few months ago Billy brought Ginger over to stay for a while and he brought this tiny dog over, too. Buster. Buster is smaller than the cats. He stared me down.Well, actually I guess he stared me UP. He was pretty low to the ground. I left him alone, mostly. He freaked me out. He slept on my blanket and growled when I gave him the signal to move. He stole my bone and wouldn't give it back. When Mom was giving out cookies, Ginger and me would sit pretty and wait and I would sit up and then this Buster dog would sneak in between us and jump on Mom's lap and everybody thought that was sooooo cute. Sure. What if I did that?

Anyway, I just hope that if they bring me a puppy it isn't Buster. I need a puppy I can train.